video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
