I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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