You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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