What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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