this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
