Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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