So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
