Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
