Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
