I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
we should paint friendship bongs
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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