Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
