my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
please come you make the beer taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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