I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize