Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
