You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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