i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Randomize
