it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize