There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I love you. Go after that dick
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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