I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
