on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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