check it out our google latitudes are spooning
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
