hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
