carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
