Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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