NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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