no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Come see our sink grown plant.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.