is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
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Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.