I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
mondays should just be called national damage control day
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
