Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.