im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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