I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Randomize
