i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
