He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
