i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize