D3 body, D1 cock
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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