you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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