Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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