Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize