I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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