So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
ok first of all what the fuck
Dear god my vagina.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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