this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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