I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
