Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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