So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
