his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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