Already got asked if we're dating
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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