Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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