Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
