I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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