Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
