We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
