he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
