The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
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Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
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Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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