Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
