I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize