a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
