I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
