I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
