I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
