So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
