You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
