The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
