its not stalking. its research.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
