After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
