My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
