he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
