Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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