You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
