the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
