So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
